HAS YOUR CHILD SHARED that they are being picked on at school? While some may minimize this as a learning experience that “toughens you up,” others will react as a “momma bear or papa bear” to protect their child. The reality is that an ongoing being “picked” on may be bullying. Bullying has consequences that negatively impact our youth. And this now includes the cyber realm which can be even more challenging. Often parents find themselves incorrectly thinking: “not my child.”
SHARON ST. PIERRE, CLINICAL DIRECTOR OF NEW HOPE COUNSELING SERVICES, A PROGRAM OF CATHOLIC CHARITIES OF ORANGE COUNTY, SITS ON A BENCH WHICH WAS INSTALLED IN MAY ON THE CHRIST CATHEDRAL CAMPUS THAT WILL SERVE THE IMPORTANT CAUSE OF MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS. THE BENCH IS PART OF THE GREEN BENCH OC – PROMISE TO TALK CAMPAIGN. PHOTO BY IAN TRAN/DIOCESE OF ORANGE
New Hope Counseling reports an increase of “bullying” like behaviors that are impacting the self-esteem of students of ages kinder through eighth grade. Students show higher numbers in coping through isolation, excessive worry negatively impacting their concentration, anger outbursts, poor grades and in worse case scenarios, self-harm.
The Center for Disease Control defines bullying as, “unwanted aggressive behavior, observed or perceived power imbalance, repetition or high likelihood of repetition of bullying behavior.” It is intentional behavior.
Research reiterates the negative mental and physical health effects and decreased academic performance for those who are bullied. Have you seen this with your child? Not to mention the future high-risk behaviors associated with those doing the bullying. Even bystanders witnessing the bullying sometimes have mental health concerns as a result.
Being mean, sarcastic, or derogatory to others, “disliking or ghosting” in social media such as Instagram, are becoming social norms. This sense of entitlement can instill a lack of empathy, ultimately leading to the very opposite of treating others with compassion.
Sadly, this is not an issue limited to the playground but can be seen within adult populations too. How self-reflective are we about how we speak to and about others around us? Do we gradually start dehumanizing another and forgetting their inherent dignity as a daughter and son of God? Are we caught in the trap of “it is how I feel therefore I am right, and I don’t care how my words impact someone?”
There are many ways we can seek to model assertive communication and develop our own skills in conflict resolution. More than ever, this is needed to help curb the rise of bullying behaviors.
REBECCA FREEMAN, PASTORAL CARE MINISTRY COORDINATOR FOR THE DIOCESE OF ORANGE, ADDRESSES ATTENDEES DURING A SPECIAL BLESSING AND DEDICATION OF THE MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS BENCH HELD ON MAY 28 AT THE CHRIST CATHEDRAL CAMPUS.
The good news is the Good News – we are a people of hope so we can be proactive and respond to this issue through the lens of faith. Catholic Social Teaching notes on Solidarity that, “The Gospel calls us to be peacemakers. Our love for all our sisters and brothers demands that we promote peace in a world surrounded by violence and conflict.” It’s up to us to shift the current of bullying and pave a new way forward guided by faith. This too requires intentionality.
New Hope Counseling recommends opportunities for quality time at home as one way to prevent bullying. This means time away from the screen, sharing about the day – ask how they show kindness at school. Listen without judgement. Model compassion in front of them. As human beings we are created to connect with others. Children especially need this space outside of technology.
Dedicating even once a week to family dinner, praying the Rosary, and practicing daily active listening are additional tools to create a supportive environment at home.
May the Domestic Church thrive with the words of St. Francis of Assisi that the Lord might “make [us] a channel of Your peace, where there is hatred let [us] sow your love.” It starts and ends with me and us, together. Check out these bullying prevention and nonviolent communication resources for more information.
NEW HOPE COUNSELING WILL OFFER A VALUABLE WEBINAR ON NOV. 4
Is your child being picked on? Have you been told your child is not kind to others? Join New Hope Counseling for an informative webinar on the topic of Bullying. Learn what bullying is and what it isn’t and tools to help children improve their self-esteem and communication with others.
Monday, Nov. 4 from 6:30 to 8 pm. Register via: https://checkout.square.site/buy/I2OA32SHHT5DQ5F3MTDXDDQ5
Cost $20 per household by Oct. 25. Price goes up to $25 after. Registration closes October 31.
OTHER HELPFUL RESOURCES:
Compass for Parents- Compass – Anticipate, Accompany, and Answer (compassforparents.org)
Pax Christi International –Tools – PAX Christi International
New Hope Counseling- https://ccoc.org/programs/mental-health-counseling-services/counseling-services
Mental Health Resources in our Diocese: rcbo.org/mental health
Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)